Jun 20, 2009 3:11 pm US/Eastern
More Parenting Resources Available For NH Dads
By KATHY McCORMACK, AP Writer
CONCORD, N.H. (AP) ―
There was a time when Sabbith Davis wasn't sure where or whom to turn to for advice on raising children.
Davis, a 32-year-old mason from Claremont, needed help when he lost custody of one daughter and eventually won custody of another, now 7. He said he was at a loss for resources.
In September, he became a father again, of a son. This time, he was able to attend a "Daddy and Me" support group for his parenting questions, as well as give advice to first-time fathers on parenting, those dealing with custody situations and finding dad-oriented resources.
"I really want to help other fathers," he said. "Women have had this for a long time. They've had all kinds of support. I think the fathers need it, as well. I don't think fathers should be left out."
In a time where traditional parental roles are changing -- more women in the workplace, more stay-at-home dads, more complex family situations where the courts have a role -- various family services in New Hampshire are offering programs specifically targeting fathers.
"We just felt from talking to the dads we saw on home visits that they didn't know where to go and they didn't have the services they needed," like how to get insurance for their children and where to find doctors and dentists, said Marti Pacini, parent educator at Good Beginnings of Sullivan County in Claremont, an agency that provides support services for parents and families.
"They build their confidence as a parent," said Lisa Paone, parent education manager at the HUB Family Resource Center in Dover. The centers, along with Monadnock Family Services in Keene, recently received grants to further their classes on father support, conscious fathering and nurturing fathers. At least 112 fathers have taken advantage of the programs.
The classes focus on tips and basics for new and expectant fathers, defining one's fatherhood from early on, reflecting on their own childhoods, supporting the mother through pregnancy, as well as advice on disciplining children and raising them while dealing with custody issues.
At one class, dads from all different backgrounds attend a support group during which Paone offers a meal. They pick up cooking tips in addition to gaining advice on being more involved as parents. They can look at books and videos on parenting as a dad.
"I have a dad that never went to one school meeting, and his twins are 10, and now since he's been coming to my dad's group for a year and a half, we talk a lot about involvement in school and education and he's actually been nominated for the PTA vice president," Paone said. Dads "really have been empowered through this program," she said.
Bill, a 47-year-old father of two boys, ages 7 and 8, has been making a five-hour round trip from Dighton, Mass., to one of Paone's classes for several months. He was in search of a class on parenting and discipline and couldn't find anything in his area.
"I'm getting a ton of information out of it," said Bill, who also coaches youth baseball. "It's really about teaching, it's not about the immediate consequence," he said about disciplining children. "It's a blessing for me to have found this group."
(© 2009 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)
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