Boston Sports

BOSTON (WBZ) ― Former New England Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson sat down with WBZ's Steve Burton Friday in a one-on-one interview in which Johnson spoke about his recent bout with depression and addiction to prescription medication that he feels are a result of concussions he suffered on the field during his time with the team.

Johnson said that during a Pats' preseason game in 2002, he make hard contact with a fullback who caught a pass coming out in the flat. After the play, Johnson went down and was helped to the sideline.

He said that trainers on the sideline performed some quick cognitive tests.

"That was it," Johnson said. Four days later, Johnson says he was under doctors' orders not to have contact, meaning he should wear a red jersey during practice - designed so that players do not accidentally hit players who are nursing injuries.

Johnson says later during the practice he was handed a blue jersey, meaning that he would be open to contact.

"I asked him, 'what is this?'…and [the trainer said] 'I was just told to bring it.' "Johnson said. "That was a point where I had to decide what I want to do here. I was kind of at a crossroads. I know it's not maybe in my best interest…My head doesn't feel normal. I don't know what damage could be done. The principle of it is I was ordered by the doctor not to have contact and now I'm being asked to put on a blue jersey."

Johnson said he was scared he would lose his job if he did not put the blue jersey on. He said he regrets not going up to head coach Bill Belichick right then and confronting the situation.

During the next drill, Johnson was participating in a nine-on seven drill and was in another tough collision.

"I see stars. Everything slows down; kind of a warmth comes over me. Blurred vision," Johnson said. "First time in my life I said, 'what the hell am I doing out here?' and I'd never said that before. I was angry. I was angry at Bill at the time. I was angry at my trainer at the time."

Johnson said he felt he was not fully protected by the trainer who he said should serve as an extension of a doctor.

Johnson said during that season he had trouble with field assignments and didn't know the basic plays, particularly during a match up with the New York Jets.

"I [didn't} know what's wrong with me [at the time.] I didn't have anything to say to [my teammates] other than, 'I'm sorry' and deep down I knew something was wrong with me, I just didn't know what it was," Johnson said.

Johnson said that a few days before he retired in 2005, he felt "physically ill."

"I was a pretty tough linebacker. I didn't mind sticking my head in there. That's how I made my money. That's how I made my living," Johnson said. "But the thought of putting my head under a guards chin made me sick to my stomach."

Johnson said as a result of the concussions he suffered with the Patriots, he now battles depression and is taking prescription medication to which he is admittedly addicted to.

"You can see this risk. You can see a broken arm, a twisted knee. You can't see what's going on [in someone's head]," Johnson said. "The cumulative effect [of the concussions] can have long term cognitive disabilities…Right now I am addicted to prescription drugs."

Johnson said during his darkest times he will not get out of bed or shower for five days. He says he typically takes three showers a day.

"The thought of getting up to making something to eat was exhausting," Johnson said. 'Those are dark days…when your son says, 'dad you're lazy'…it's like you feel less than a man and there's nothing more depressing than that feeling."

Johnson said he has no intention of suing the Patriots and is using interview opportunities to educate himself and others on the dangers of depression and other symptoms related to concussions.

"If I help somebody out there, that's all I care about," Johnson said.

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